Pets from Paradise

I may have blogged on this topic before, but with regard to this topic, once isn't enough. St Croix has a pet overpopulation problem. Rather than launch into an animal welfare debate about proper care, spay and neutering, I'm just going to inform and maybe plead a bit during the concluding paragraph.

You as a traveler can do something. Anytime you travel to St Croix, consider making the return flight as a companion in the Pets from Paradise program. Contact the St Croix animal welfare center. They will attempt to locate a partner shelter near your return destination. Either a small dog or puppy will be brought to you at the airport. You fly with the dog as carry on and Pets from Paradise picks up the fees. A representative of the partner shelter meets you at the destination airport and picks up the dog.

Think about rescuing a puppy the next time you visit St Croix. For more information visit the St Croix Animal Welfare Center at http://www.stcroixanimals.org or http://www.CrucianCritters.com (seems like they're switching websites)or call 340-778-1650.

Vacation Versus Permanent Residence

What a tourist wants and what locals want varies, sometimes a great deal.

Take rain, for example. Tourists don't want rain--sunny days, bright and beautiful all day, every day. Locals, well, if it doesn't rain then we don't have water to bathe or do laundry. Locals depend on recycled rainwater for our household water.

Economy
Tourists want an inexpensive room rate and the conveniences of the states, namely air conditioning. Many tourists fail to notice (or calculate) the additional energy fee charged by some hotels. Tourists often pay 10 percent above their bill as an energy surcharge to offset the AC expense.

Locals want affordable WAPA bills. Our utility costs are tied to the price of oil. Note the recent spike in oil prices. Our utility company proposes a planned 22 percent increase in monthly rates. Ouch!

The difference in vacationing and actually living on island varies greatly, even if one is retired and finding a job isn't a concern.
A great vacation in the Caribbean doesn't mean that one would find living here great. Want to move to the Caribbean, consider a permanent move visit. Take an extended visit and find out if you're really cut out for island living. You may discover that life isn't always a beach.

At Haypenny Rest we're happy to share our thoughts on the ups and downs of living on the beautiful island of St Croix.

Carnival-Jump Start

Apologies to the few of you who maintain contact with us via the blog. An ongoing kitchen renovation, a nasty cold/mini flu, guests and a couple of freelance projects consumed my time. A new month is here, time more manageable and carnival looming.
Last evening a short season welcomer occurred in Christiansted. For those of you who don't know, the main Carnival on St Croix occurs Jan. 6, but the month of December is series of festivities culminating in the big event. Last evening served as a teaser.
The parade consisted of three or four beauty queens, three majorette troupes, one singer and the stars of the show the Major Minorettes. A troupe of senior citizens wearing clown costumes of St Croix madras, glitter socks, masks and top hats lit with candles, the Major Minorettes' thrilled the crowd with a low-skill, high-comedy routine. The troupe "twirlled" glow-in-the dark batons which served more as a prop for funny business. After marching in place, the group lay in the street and performed mock aerobics with the batons, made an arch with the batons, and then just danced around and drank with the batons. The "drum major" also shook a pom pom.
Following the Major Minorettes, the Caribbean Revellers truck of music rolled past inviting the crowd to join the tramp.
The big Jan 6 day is still available at Haypenny Rest. Come spend Carnival with us.

Stranded at the Veteran's Day Parade

I've been offline because I've been sick. I've also had quite a few personal and professional commitments this week and with the bad cold bug I caught have been too tired for much else. Feeling a little perkier, we trekked over to Frederiksted for the Veteran's Day Parade, arrived at the parade line up, attempted to relocate the car which didn't start. Several consultations, phone calls and a tow truck ride later, I spent the Veteran's Day parade time in the Jeep dealership lobby watching the story of Wake Island and its significance in WWII. Actually, the history channel story was quite startling and a piece of WWII history I had not heard before. A little less than 100 US civilian contractors working on Wake in construction were held by the Japanese on Wake after the military members were sent to POW camps in Japan and China. The civilians were forced to build bunkers and then, after working as forced labor for some time, lined up on the beach and executed when food supplies ran low. Their deaths remained a secret until Wake was recaptured two years later.
The Virgin Islands had a group of military members return from deployment to Iraq recently. A different group is station there now. Soon other groups will join them. Remember them and all the others beyond the parades and the day off of work. Many days abroad remain for them.

Musings of a 10 foot scale

Maybe it's too much sun. Racing--for on the bumpy, pothole-filled roads of St Croix 50 mph is racing--from one errand to the next while trying to beat my contractor to my house, a strange thought entered my mind. Do other cultures refuse to touch things with a 10 foot pole?

The phrase is commonplace in my native south Georgia and can refer to either a person or a situation or any animal, vegetable, mineral now that I come to thing of it. e.g. "that dog has mange, I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole" (animal) or "those collards set out in the boiler overnight, I wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole" (vegetable) or "Marsha can keep that big diamond ring because she had to sleep with Ted Thomas to get it and I wouldn't touch either one of them with a ten foot pole (person, situation, mineral). Marsha and Ted are fictional, as far as I know.

I just began to wonder today. . .do people in the UK use this phrase and if so does it have a metric equivalent?

The short answer I found, 'cause I know y'all are just dying to know, is no because the Brits invented the original 10 foot pole. Apparently river barges were steered with 10 foot poles and the slang phrase is first documented in print in 1758, Dictionary of Cliches.

When I googled "10 foot pole" I found: a band, sexual innuendo, fantasy football and someone who thought it was a racist slang directed at people of Polish descent (?).

I know what you're thinking--I have too much time on my hands. No, actually, I don't. I'm waiting for an editor and an interview subject to get back to me. I have two gentlemen grinding countertops right outside my window. I have b&b guests whose flight was delayed in Charlotte, NC. I'm fearful my plumber's not coming today which leaves me with a nonfunctioning kitchen sink and (totally unrelated) clogged master bath shower drain. I'm not going to make it today to the tailor and the two stores where I need to exchange merchandise. I have to make the third trip to the dump today (only so much trash fits in a Jeep wrangler), pick up my husband from work and walk the dog.

The 10 foot pole thing just invaded my brain and sometimes, no matter how busy you are, you just have to get it out of your system.

Caribbean Halloween

Halloween and trick o' treating is not exceptionally popular on St Croix. Yes, some festivities exist: a few costume parties, and trick o' treating at Sunny Isles shopping center/K-mart. This year the few events scheduled to take place last weekend were postponed due to Tropical Storm Noel. I've heard grumbling about Halloween and some locals adamantly opposed to the holiday. I'm not sure exactly why because St Croix heralds a ghost tradition: the jumby.
Jumbies (pronounced Joombie) are spirits. On some islands they can be good as well as evil spirits. Jumbies are found in the traditional scary place, the cemetery, but also in trees. Some island trees, especially those on the west end, certainly look dark and spooky. The lack of property development yields a lack of artificial light and with our position closer to the equator than the continental US, the dark comes much more quickly and year round. By 7 p.m. night arrives. High trade winds on a inky black night create a howl combined with insects and rain frogs make for eerie sounds. Jumbies dont' seem so far fetched.
I have a couple of obligatory bags of candy, though I doubt I receive any trick o' treaters. I may leave a mini candy bar or two for any wayward Jumbies.

TD Sixteen

The last photograph I posted of the "bad cloud" actually was a bad cloud, the precursor to what has become Tropical Depression 16. For the past two days, we've experience torrential rains, higher than average winds and eerily cool temperatures. As of this morning the winds have subsided but the skies remain grey, the winds up and the temps down.
I receive email alerts from the National Hurricane Center and learned via email that this odd weather was a storm in formation. Since passing St Croix, the now dubbed TD 16 is forecast to dump up to 15 inches of rain over parts of Haiti, the Dominican Republic and Cuba. It is a very odd feeling to have experienced the birth of potential hurricane and had no idea what was happening. All I can say is, get set Atlantic Florida. The hurricane center projects TD 16 crossing over the land mass of Cuba to the east, up north through the Bahamas, the straight for you.

Elation! Great guests

A quick note in praise of my most recent guests. I am relatively new to the bed and breakfast business. I love to travel and stay in b&bs, guest houses, zimmers rather than a traditional hotel. I like to experience the local culture rather than sequester myself in a 5 star resort. I had hoped for guests of that share the same philosophy and am grateful to have received this week's patrons.

I'm continuing to learn and trying not to beat myself up for forgetting things like refilling the sugar bowl. Both guests, the great ones and the problematic ones, have taught me lessons. This business adventure is a work in progress and probably always will be.

An unusual two-day rain has descended on St Croix, but my spirits are hardly dampened. I welcome next week and new guests and improving my game.

At HaypennyRest.com all is dry and cozy.

Bad Cloud Coming

A snap shot of this afternoon's weather. Had we viewed a scene like this outside our window in South Georgia someone would have remarked, "there's a bad cloud coming up."
As ominous as this cloud appears, the weather here is quite calm, slightly breezy, slightly cooler than usual. Perhaps not perfect tourist weather, but a relaxing change for a local. Then again, I'm indoors not on the beach or heaven forbid in a small fishing vessel.
Light and clouds can be deceptive here. One can see rain miles before it arrives. Certain areas of the island tend to glow at sunrise and sunset. I am astounded at the number of rainbows I see here. I started this morning off with a large double rainbow off to the west behind our pool. St Croix is not a flat sandy strip, but slightly mountainous. I guess the reflective qualities of the ocean and the angles of the mountains yield these startling vistas. I can't explain the physics, I merely revel in the views. Golden clouds or dark ones, both demand one stop and take notice, if not a photograph to share as I did.

Beautiful views at HaypennyRest.com

Bush Men

As I stated a couple of posts ago, I'm enduring home renovations. In addition to the dust, mess and drain on my personal time, I've discovered another unforeseen issue. No it's not hidden costs or faulty work, it's contractors and subcontractors who refuse to use indoor plumbing. That's right, they'd rather pee in the bush.

The first workman I spied walking 20 feet across the road to relieve himself in the undeveloped lot between my neighbor and myself, I dismissed as slightly odd. I was just glad my neighbor was not at home at the time. However, more workman from other firms continued his trek. The countertop installers spoke with me about their preference for the "bush" the local term for woods/vegetation. I was not interviewing them, mind you, they just waxed philosophic when asking me to show them the bathroom. They said they'd prefer to use the bush rather than the toilet. One man said he liked it better because urinating in the wild is "more free and breezy." Well the trade winds have picked up, so I guess a break to relieve one's self and cool one's business after a hot day of work is refreshing.

This isn't the first time I've encountered this preference. I once had a college biology professor who informed the class that he situated potted plants and a large ficus tree in his toilet to mimic the outdoors. That was in Georgia. Since I last lived in Washington, DC one had few opportunities for "bush breaks" and it would be a ticketed offense, besides.

Oh well, the repairs are nearly done and for the remaining few days, I'll simply avert my eyes.

At HaypennyRest.com our plumbing works just fine.

A.M. no Water

My cistern transfer valves. The booger on the left gave us all the trouble this morning.

Guests arrived yesterday and they are everything one could hope for in guests: pleasant, personable, here to explore St Croix. I thanked my lucky stars. These same stars must be slightly out of line because we all arose this morning to discover air not water in the plumbing pipes.

I raced downstairs to transfer the cistern settings. We have a double tank cistern: when one tank goes low, transfer to the other tank. We have plenty of water right now thanks to ample rain and a back up water delivery made last month. I entered the pump room expecting to solve this problem in 30 seconds and my guests would never be inconvenienced. But my lucky stars had other ideas.

Immobile valves. The cistern valve, that looks something like a garden hose faucet, refused to budge. I begged, I pleaded, I employed a wrench and WD-40. Nothing. Frantic, I called for my husband who was attempting to dress for work. He plodded downstairs, requested larger wrenches, strained and cursed. Nothing.

I phoned our plumber at 6:30 a.m. who answered, arrived an hour later, employed a very big wrench, loosened the valve and only departed once all the pipes were tested. A big relief that arrived only after our guests had departed for an early morning scuba dive at Salt River. I can only hope they showered last night. I can only hope they are forgiving.

I'm offering them a discount on today, but this doesn't make up for the inconvenience or make me any less embarrassed. Word to those seeking to operate a bed and breakfast: be prepared, be meticulous, be obsessive about the details or you may wake up with your stars out of line.

Blessing of the Pets

*Gus and Chuck's certificates. Note Saint Francis is petting a 'possum.

This past weekend sandwiched between veterinary visits, SEC football and kitchen renovation prep, our best received a special blessing in honor of Saint Francis of Assisi.
Holy Cross Catholic Church in historic downtown Christiansted, St Croix USVI hosted the blessing in part as a fund raising event for their school, St Mary's.
In the church courtyard under tents animals a variety of animals awaited their blessing. In addition to dogs, cats (in carriers), I notice hamsters, turtles and a donkey.
The deacon gave a brief biography of Saint Francis of Assisi then lead a special prayer for the pets. We then processed to the outdoor altar on the church steps where the deacon sprinkled holy water on the pets. My cat and dog were blessed together. Both behaved well, however my dog, not a typical drooler, due to the hot day approached the deacon with a full muzzle of slobber. He got blessed anyway.
I don't know what the official party line is on pet blessing. I'm sure many people find it frivolous. In my humble opinion, though, if the tenets of Christianity are to refrain from judging others and to love unconditionally--our pets are more forgiving and forgetting than we are. They abide each day by the golden rule. Surely they warrant one day of blessing.

Enjoy a beautiful day at HaypennyRest.com

Island Remodeled

Until now I refrained from discussing the darker side of St Croix. After the past two weeks (and the thought of the week upcoming) I can no longer remain mum about St Croix's scary secret: heinous kitchen and baths.

Hurricane Hugo is the historical benchmark for modern day St Croix. Islanders refer to events as either before or after Hugo. The hurricane ravaged St Croix in 1989 resulting in widespread damage. I must then infer that some manufacturer of white, press-board, pre-fab kitchens flooded the Virgin Islands market with their wares, because the vast majority of homes I've toured, viewed or visited feature these '80s babies.

Forget the cosmetic (a difficult task for the current HGTV generation) and focus on the functional. We live in a humid maritime climate. If sea air demolishes electronics in a scant few years (and yes, it does) how did anyone think press board would stand the test of time. Poseidon snickers at every dilapidated vanity, dysfunctional door and rotting unit.

I am enduring a kitchen remodel. Yes, I welcome the finished result. However, like all cosmetic improvements we undertake be it exercising on the treadmill, submitting to foil highlighting, or suffering any sort of depilatory procedure--the end result is worth it, the during part just sucks.

Permanent Move Visit

Permanent Move Visit--familiar phrase? Not to me, not until I moved to the US Virgin Islands, that is. And now that I am very familiar with this concept, I highly recommend it for anyone dreaming of an escape to the Caribbean for any lengthy duration.
A permanent move visit (PMV) is a relocation test run. Families stay perhaps a couple of weeks, perhaps a month to sample living on island. Vacation rentals, like Haypenny Rest, are ideal for this type of visit. Rather than the tourist atmosphere of a hotel, by staying a private home PMVers gain the residential perspective. Home stays offer kitchens and thus the option of cooking and food shopping.
PMVers learn that St Croix, St Thomas and St John grocery prices are an estimated 25 percent higher than stateside. PMVers discover life in the left lane and the necessity of a car. Other than within the towns of Christiansted and Fredericksted, St Croix is not pedestrian friendly, St Thomas even less so, in my humble opinion. Hills and traffic inhibit scooter or moped transport on these islands as well. Unfortunately, a car is a must.
Too many souls relocate to the Caribbean without researching the quality of life beyond the picture postcard palm trees and blue seas. The two examples I named merely scratch the surface of adaptations that must be made. For anyone fantasizing about life in the Virgin Islands, a PMV is a smart move.

Want to try a PMV? Contact HaypennyRest.

Lost in Translation

I've learned a few lessons in this endeavor to start and succeed as a bed and breakfast owner and I'm only just into the high season here in St Croix, Virgin Islands. I'll summarize my experience thus far this week, a minor break from my lyric posts in ode to the natural beauty of the Caribbean.

I'll start with the most important less learned thus far: miscommunication. Miscommunication affects my business far more than I would have anticipated. Miscommunication necessitated a change in room reservation policy. No longer will I allow a friend or family member to book a reservation for someone else. Gift certificates yes, but actual reservations, no. See the location mom or your best man thinks is great may not be the guest's cup of tea. No matter that I tell mom or your best man that my b&b is ocean view not water front (a significant detail most definitely reflected in our lower price) when guest arrives and finds stepping out of the door and into the ocean not an option, well, complaining to me is much easier than complaining to mama.

I learned that miscommunication arises with more frequency and tenacity that I would have ever imagined. Maybe vacation encourages this trait. Vacation is supposed to be special and wonderful--an opportunity to escape your daily grind. We need it to be perfect--an unachievable goal.

What is achievable here is beautiful scenery, unique culture, tranquil ocean breezes and if you can stop yourself from analyzing it to much, what could be more perfect?

Relax at Haypenny Rest.

Herman Wouk

I read "Don't Stop the Carnival" after moving the Caribbean and starting a single-suite bed and breakfast. Had I read it before hand, maybe I would have hesitated. Maybe I would have dismissed his '60s tale of strange characters and the havoc they wreak as fiction. Drama, yes. Fiction? Not quite. Wouk's work, dated and inflated though it may be, is a primer for someone dreaming of starting a business in the Caribbean.
Worrying over rains and empty cisterns, goods shipments, and odd contractors is par for the course here. Retiring here is one thing. Retiring to run a business, something else entirely. I met a resident who made just that plan and now has more business than "you can shake a stick at." Good for the pocketbook, bad for afternoons planned on the beach blanket.
From what I understand Wouk lived on St Thomas at some point. I don't think he managed a hotel as his protagonist Norman Paperman flees New York City to do. I won't spoil it, but Norman's daydream doesn't quite turn out as he imagined. Quite a bit of work is involved. Work. The word doesn't disappear once one crosses the southerly latitudes. The scenery helps, though.

Seven Highlights of Scenic Old San Juan

Old San Juan is only seven blocks by seven blocks. In that small space; however, a wealth of museums, lovely architecture, delicious foods and scenic vistas abound. Here are 7 highlights of our Old San Juan walking tour.

Enjoy carillo, the local food fare. Some of our favorites: mallorcas, a wonderful ham and cheese on puffed bread sprinkled with powdered sugar and plantain tamales with pork wrapped in banana leaves. Yum!

Sip the delicious yet strong local coffee while people watching in one of the many shady parks known as plazas.

Dine on tapas at El Convento. The former convent and oldest hotel in Old San Juan's room rates may burst your budget, but tapas in the courtyard dining area are both tasty and reasonably priced.

Tour one of the many museums of local arts, culture and history. Our pick the museum of the family showcases family life of Old San Juan in the 1800s. Cost: free!

Shop for local and regional crafts. Yes, mass-manufactured goodies can be found in several tourist shops, but a seek out the stores offering unique finds such as wood carvings, jewelry and handicrafts.

The wide-open horizon of the Atlantic Ocean from El Morro is worth the hike on a hot, sunny September day. Refresh yourself with a Piragua, the Puerto Rican snowcone.

Or just browse the side streets and quiet courtyards behind the doors of Old San Juan. A beautiful and welcoming city.

Puerto Rico--a peek inside

About 40 minutes from St Croix as American Eagle flies lies the historic gateway to the Caribbean, Puerto Rico. While I've visited the San Juan International Airport many times whist awaiting connections to other destinations, I recently enjoyed a few days on the island herself. An experience definitely worth the wait and most probably another blog post.

Did you know Puerto Rico is the most popular Caribbean destination? The diverse island offers Atlantic and Caribbean beaches, a large rain forest, delicious food, beautiful architecture and the U.S. economy with a distinctly Latin flavor.

We visited in September: the height of the hurricane season and nadir for tourist season. Even so, a cruise ship docked in Puerto Rico during our stay. A behemoth from which camera-clad passengers in shorts trickled. I've never cruised before. I'm waiting for the pet-friendly cruises to begin. Did you know that only the QE2 offers a pet-friendly cruise?

The photo is a shot of one of the watch turrets of El Morro the massive, ancient Spanish fort that essentially surrounds Old San Juan, our home base. Did you know this particular blog was just a tease for more to come? I warned you at the beginning.

Small delights

A key ingredient to enjoying life here is reveling in the small delights. When you live on an island that is less than 30 miles long and about 7 miles wide, new opportunities are, well, confined. Unless one intends to fly or sail away regularly, inspiration must be found at home.
I am surprised, consistently by the slight details: the light patterns made by clouds passing over the mountains and the light affecting color of the sea out my window which changes day to day sometimes reflecting astounding shades of turquoise, gold and even pink.
I am both enthralled and vexed by the local flora. Beautiful flowers will blossom for a day then disappear. Tan tan trees will affix themselves to any surface, root and grow, despite all eradication efforts.
Often people travel to the Caribbean, to experience the undersea creatures. I find the terrestrial fauna just as fascinating. Take the little visitor in the photo. Lizards dart and dash about the flower beds, hang suspended from the exterior window screens and sometimes find themselves inside the house, where my cat Gus hunts them with skill. This little guy surprised me on the clothes line, resting atop a pillow sham, tinier than a clothes pin.
No, he's not the latest movie, or die-for restaurant, or must-have purse, but a bit of wonder nonetheless and inspiration enough for this post.

Come enjoy the small details at HaypennyRest.

Sour Times

This blog is dedicated to the over-productive key lime tree on my property. We juice them, flavor with them, I even clean with them and I'm barely able to keep up with the dozens of new fruits that appear each morning.
My goal is to squeeze about 50 each day this week and freeze the juice. Maybe then I'll catch up to the little key lime tree that could.

I read in A Short History of the West Indies by Parry, Sherlock and Maingot (purchased at the Whim bookstore on island) that the majority of the fruits thought of as tropical are not native to the Caribbean. According to the book, the only native plants of significant importance were cassava and tobacco. Coconuts and carambola fruits arrived from South Asia. The Spanish brought bananas, figs, the economic juggernaut sugar cane and all the citrus, including, I suppose, my key lime.
While it will not taste nearly the same for those enduring a frosty morning in the extreme northeast, enjoy a nod to sunshine with our favorite lime concoction.

4 key limes (the grocery green variety can sub)
1 cup sugar to taste (probably will need less for less pungent grocery limes)
water

Crush limes in a food chopper then transfer to a standard size blender
Add sugar
Add water to nearly full
Blend until smooth as possible
Strain into pitcher

Serve over ice with a shot of Cruzan Rum, if you like. After all the Cruzan Rum tag line is "so have a drink today."

Limes available while they last at HaypennyRest.

the Current

St Croix spend Friday night in the dark. An island-wide power outage occurred sometime Friday afternoon. Power was restored at varying times depending on location. Ours clicked back on sometime around 9 p.m. (when we'd decided to go to bed) but a friend on the west end of the island said hers was not restored until 10 p.m.

Power outages arise intermittently on St Croix. The local reference is the "current" is out or gone or off. Our current is usually unaffected. We lived previously on the northwest side of the island and current outages happened more frequently than I liked. A long-time resident of the east end of the island said his current goes out once a week. Embellishment? Perhaps, but I tend to think that St Croix exemplifies most locations of natural beauty in that neatly-ordered conveniences take a back seat to nature. With beautiful views and beautiful weather, a few hours in the dark is a small price to pay. Besides the stars and fireflies provided us an evening of sparkling entertainment.

Come visit us at HaypennyRest, where, yes, we have a back up generator.

the Fruit Man

The fruit man pays a scheduled visit to my husband’s workplace bringing fresh fruit for sale. I am uncertain of the frequency of his visits, but I believe he comes less often than the pate` man (who is actually an elderly woman) but more often than the fish man.

After weeks of missed opportunities, we finally struck a deal with the fruit man. For months papayas have flourished in our yard enjoyed only by the birds and one guest who found them delicious. I confess, I’m not crazy about papaya because they remind me too much of cantaloupe, the only fruit (until now) that I do not like. My husband falls into the cantaloupe category, too. I must further digress and share a cantaloupe story.

At a former workplace in Knoxville, TN (insert obligatory yelp of either ‘Rocky Top’ or ‘Go VOLs’), a kind volunteer brought cantaloupe to my supervisor, fellow coworker and me. All of us, it turned out, abhor cantaloupe. We left the melons in the kitchen, then moved them towards the door, then overwhelmed by the musky perfumed aroma that seemed to permeate out office to the point of nausea, my boss put them out the door. There’s something intimidating about a fruit that can smell you out of your office.

Back to the fruit man. We have sour orange, key lime, grapefruit, carambola (star fruit) and sugar apples. We hoped to trade any of these (we have an ample supply) for bananas. Nope, the fruit man only wants papayas. He has everything else. Of course when he makes his first visit, none of the papayas are ready. Only three can be found and one of those was maimed by birds during a three day visit to Puerto Rico.

These bananas were given to me by our house painter, CM Painting. He traded us for key limes and sour orange. These bananas are half the size of the average US grocery store variety, but wonderfully sweet. Now, we’re tasked with eating them all.

Flew the Coop

Gone a week on a mini trip to Puerto Rico. The highlights will appear in an upcoming blog, I promise. I intend to publish with greater consistency and frequency whether anyone reads regularly or not.
Before departing for said trip, the following event occurred. A yellow breast, the Territorial bird of the Virgin Islands, flew into our sliding glass door and tumbled violently to the ground. I thought he was dead but discovered that, though bleeding, he survived. I created a nest out of a fruit container and began feeding him sugar water. At first he drank, eyes closed, intently but feebly imbibing every spoonful. After a few minutes, he regained not only consciousness but gumption and took off in our kitchen soaring up to perch on the rafters of our West Indian ceiling. At least a half hour or more later we managed to shoo him back out the door and into secure, shady branches of an umbrella tree. (I'm trying to post as a video, but haven't quite figured it out yet. . .)

Lesson learned, don't nurse a bird in the house.

Plan your own birdwatching excursion at HaypennyRest.com

Low Season Blues

Check out Chuck, bone in tow, chillin’ at Haypenny Beach. Yes, I know I’m an incorrigible pet promoter as bad as a new grandparent shoving baby photos in the faces of coworkers and retail clerks. Can I help it that my mongrel is so photogenic?

I’m suffering from the low season blues. I assume that many other inn owners, restaurateurs, sailboat tour operators, etc are feeling the same. Beautiful beaches, sunny skies, calm turquoise waters and few paying customers around make for a seasonal affective disorder that saps one’s positive outlook and pocketbook.

Summer is the off season on St Croix. Why? you ask. One word: hurricanes. Big clouds with names aside, summer is still a good time to visit the Caribbean for three reasons.

No Crowds

Want the beach mostly to yourself? St Croix in the summer can grant you that wish. Kick back, relax and don’t forget the sunscreen—we’re a lot closer to the equator than you think.

Low Season Discounts

Prices go down in the low season and visitors enjoy all the amenities, tours and excursions for a lot less. So come snap up a bargain; discounts last through November.

Same Great Sites

The beach, the mountains, and the fresh salt air, all the natural beauty that the Virgin Islands have to offer remains on display year round.

I guess I should add a fourth reason. Based on the Weather Channel, St Croix is about ten degrees cooler (at least) than many parts of the continental US. Most visitors come to escape the winter, but few realize that an escape from summer mugginess is available, too. That said, what are you waiting for? My shameless promotional pitch, that's what.

Haypenny Rest is discounted from now through the end of November. Ask about the monthly flat rate.

Discover the top five reasons you should be in the US Virgin Islands—America’s Paradise.

1. No Passport Needed

Come to the Caribbean, your islands. Skip the lengthy wait for passports, St Thomas, St John and St Croix are US Territories so no passport is needed. Seems like a number of desperate travelers waiting for paperwork failed to realize the all the benefits of other Caribbean islands can be enjoyed on the U.S. Virgin Islands without the delay.

2. Direct Flights from the Mainland

American Airlines and Delta offer direct flights to St. Croix from Miami and Atlanta, respectively. American, Continental, Delta, United and US Airways offer flights to St. Thomas from the mainland.

Travel between islands is convenient. St John is a quick ferry trip from St Thomas. Ferries from downtown Charlotte Amalie and Red Hook embark for St John throughout the day and into the evening. Ferry service to St. Croix is also available. Sea planes fly a St Croix/St Thomas route typically every 20 minutes.

3. US Economy

Stay on the US economy and save the hassle of foreign currency exchange. Local banking ATMs abound, so accessing extra funds is easy. Best of all, no sales tax! Bring home duty free luxury goods, award winning Cruzan Rum and locally made handy-crafts.

4. Diversity

St Thomas, St John and St Croix offer travelers three unique experiences.

St Thomas has been a commercial center since colonial times. Luxury goods about for savvy shoppers wishing to take home duty free bounty. Night clubs and large scale resorts provide high energy travelers locations to live-it-up then kick back and relax.

St John boasts undeveloped land and spectacular views of the British Virgins. Two-thirds of the island is owned by the national part service. This lack of commercial development does not mean that beaches are empty. Travelers to St John may camp, yes, but the island also boasts high-end resorts with a laid back feel cater to those with deep pockets.

St Croix the quiet sister offers travelers beautiful beaches with a fraction of the crowds. Outdoor lovers may choose St Croix for kayaking, snorkeling and arguable some of the best scuba diving sites in the Caribbean. The largest island, St Croix also hosts a small rainforest with wonderful trails for hikers. St Croix’s fine dining and restaurant options are second to none, a treat after a day at the beach.

5. Cultural Experience

The rich history of the islands gives travelers a glimpse into a fascinating past: exploration, piracy, colonial rule and eventual US rule. The people of the Virgin Islands share their heritage eagerly. Learn about the people and culture that make America’s Paradise so special.

Come visit us at HaypennyRest.

Goodwill Gecko

Slithering up walls, resting on verandas, lounging poolside, brightly colored gecko sculptures reside on home and hoteliers throughout St Croix. These oversized, unnaturally decorated (I’ve yet to spy a purple, blue or pink gecko in the wild) are a whimsical tribute to the shy, chunky, rather plainly painted true species.

My husband and I snapped a shot of this little guy exposed when we removed our hurricane shutters. Seems we were not the only ones using them as shelter from the storm. Note the chunky toes, sure sign of a gecko.

The gecko sculptures found throughout retail stores in Christiansted are often advertised as comprised of recycled oil drums. Sculptures range in size from hand-sized to large, couple of feet wide elaborate tropical scenes. As typical the price increases with size and complexity of design. Local shop Tesoro advertises that three geckos on the home bring good luck. At less than $20 for three little guys, easily packed, tourists get a bargain on Crucian good fortune. And like everything on St Croix, of course, gecko sculptures are duty free.

Post Dean exhale (a few days late)

Dean brushed past us, thank goodness, bringing some rain, stronger than average winds and high surf. Considering the Caribbean tide heights vary so little that high and low tide reports do not exist here, Dean certainly affected the ocean landscape. Typically tranquil Fredericksted harbor (pictured in typical state) lurched and rolled and swelled over the sea wall and splashed on to the Strand Street park walking path.

The very next day; however, gorgeous, sunny serenity returned. Undisturbed by Dean, St Croix is ready and waiting for visitors.

Calm before the Storm

My apologies for the break in communication, but recent trips to the states and a house guest put the blog on the back burner. Tropical Storm Dean, predicted to become Hurricane Dean, prompts a long over due post.

As a child I resided about an hour from the Gulf of Mexico. Hurricanes brought high winds, often tornadoes, rain, power outages and relief from the oppressive heat. I am not under the delusion that this experience will at all prepare me for “riding out” a hurricane on an island.

Now, I own two emergency preparedness tubs inspired by a former employer’s SIP (shelter in place) tubs. One tub contains food stuffs and the other contains batteries, toiletries, utensils, flashlights and baby wipes. I purchased a weather radio with buttons for area specific U.S. government and NOAA reports.

I took a crack at installing our hurricane shutters (steel panels) and learned the hard way via a gashed ring finger that installation requires gloves. My first storm-related boo boo. I hope my last.

I plot Dean’s progression towards the Lesser Antilles on my hurricane tracking map taking some comfort that I am at least prepared.

Mango Melee

Large rose colored orbs hanging from long skinny stems like spiders at the end of a web, if the web was a large dark green leafy tree, began to appear across the island. Mango season has arrived.

Mango trees can grow as large as a live oak tree and many are heavy with abundant mango fruits. Sidewalk stands of mangoes emerge not only along the side of the road but in driveways manned by children, the local equivalent of a lemonade stand.

Each year the St. George Village Botanical Gardens hosts the Mango Melee to celebrate the harvest. In addition to crafts and food booths, typical of any festival, the Mango Melee features a display of the unbelievable amount of mango varieties. Besides the named species, I would estimate that at least a dozen unnamed local mangoes were on display. They range in size from larger than a softball to the width of a cell phone and all number of hues, textures and sweetness.

For someone who only found one variety of mango in her local Winn Dixie, I gained quite an education on the vastness of mangoes. I also bought some mango soap and a mango jam put up in a baby food jar and sold by an elderly woman sporting an American flag patterned bandanna around her head and matching petticoat. I have yet to try it, but I am convinced that it will be goo-ood.

Ha'Penny Bay

On the quiet south shore, Haypenny Bay is the stretch of beach closest to my house and visible from our residence. No commercial dwellings exist on the public westward side of the bay and only one residence is visible through the tall sea grape trees.
Weekdays the beach lies quietly awaiting the weekend’s excitement. Saturdays and Sunday afternoons local families gather to picnic, swim and sun. Walk west away from the splashing children gathered in the sandy bottomed cove nearest to the makeshift car park and Haypenny Bay extends as about a mile of quiet windswept path.

My favorite spot lies midway down the beach near a promontory that serves as my walker’s half way mark. At this outcrop, a few hundred yards toward the horizon lies a ring of reefs. Rather than the typically horizontal roll, waves crash over these undersea barriers at odd angles. The waters careen, stop short, and thrust upwards in brief waterspouts and sideways in great splatters. I imagine a great school of fish diving and rising and chasing each other’s tails.

Last week in a hurried pace, busy with checklists and errands, I trudged down the beach my dog in tow for his obligatory exercising. When I reach the reefs, out of habit, I paused to study them and felt my spirits rise. It seems we’re trying to be diligent, be dutiful, be successful, be on top and ahead of the game. . .Why is it so difficult to just be?

Water, Water, Everywhere--the Cistern

“Water, water, everywhere and not a drop to drink. . .” The lament of Coleridge’s Mariner is shared by Crucians. St. Croix lacks fresh water resources save rainwater. Most residents in St. Croix have cisterns to meet water use needs.

A cistern is an underground tank for storing water. Unless one lives in Christiansted or Fredericksted, where city water is available, a cistern serves as the only means of obtaining water for the home.

In the Virgin Islands water conservation has been elevated to an art form. Gutters catch rainfall and divert this fresh water into the cistern for storage.

Typically located under the house in what would be a basement, stateside lies the cistern. Our cistern is a double tank. One tank for usage and one tank for overflow. If a cistern runs dry, which ours did shortly after moving in, one can order water from a water trucking company. A water delivery of 3600 gallons arrived in something akin to a fuel truck. This amount filled up one tank probably three-quarters.

Grey-water systems utilize recycled water from showers, sinks and laundry to water plants and yard. Diverted sewage flows into a septic system—usually the spot in one’s lawn that is the most verdant.

A local plumber told me that septic systems are a foreign concept among the Continentals he has met (i.e. stateside Americans). He said one client even told him that “we don’t have septic systems in the states.”

Gentle reader---everyone has a septic system of some form or fashion. Sewage has to go somewhere. It does not magically disappear when you flush. The city systems route sewage to a government maintained system. I grew up in a rural area which necessitated a septic system: living proof that septic systems do occur (and widely depending where one lives) in the states.

During hurricane season, one covers the cistern in take to prevent contamination by salt water. After the storm and until the “current” (electric power as the locals say) returns one accesses the cistern water from the interior hatch. Our hatch is in our living room. A native Islander called the post-storm bucket and rope method of getting to water, “camping in the cement cabin.”

I am more appreciated of rain than I have ever been. All my household water depends on rain. A late night storm is the most pleasant and comforting sound.

Better than weather reports, rain frogs announce the coming rain with a cacophony of frog cheers. Probably three times the size of any rain frog I witnessed growing up, the local variety, like my little friend in the photo, sport bulbous toes and sticky skins. Nocturnal by nature, their eyes of burnt sienna glisten in the darkness.

The frog in the photo napped in our birdbath for two days until the rains stopped, the sun appeared, and, overheated, he departed for shadier pastures or ponds as the case may be.

Mosquitoes in the Closet

I am from South Georgia, below the gnat line, so I know about bugs. In addition to the non biting but excessively worrisome gnat, I have first hand experience with fire ants, ticks, yellow jackets, love bugs, palmetto bugs, chiggers and ear-buzzing baddie, the mosquito. The tropical climate in St. Croix means no winter and year-round mosquitoes.

The local paper, the Avis, publishes health warnings about the mosquito-born aliment dengue fever. I’ve notice flyers in local businesses announcing dengue fever prevention methods and highlighting symptoms of infection.

I knew about malaria, but I never hear of dengue fever. My fears of dengue fever prompted my husband to serenade me (over and over again) with his original composition “Dengue Fever” sung to the tune of the theme song of that Spike Lee movie Jungle Fever.

“mama got dengue fever, papa got dengue fever,”

In addition to feasting on any portion of exposed skin, a band of mosquitoes had, until recently, taken up residence in our closet. Why the closet, I can’t say. There’s no standing water in the closet and we (the mosquitos’ main food source) don’t spend ample time in the closet. Maybe they chose to congregate in the dark amongst our clothes and plot attacking us in our bed whilst sleeping? Who knows the deep murmuring minds of mosquitoes?

“Chuck got dengue fever, Gus got dengue fever. . .”

Our early combative efforts against the closet dwellers consisted of guerrilla style fumigations: fling open the closet door, spray the swarm, jump back and quickly slam the door. One day while house cleaning, I took them on full force. I closed myself and my wind-tunnel vacuum with hose attachment in the closet and attempted to suck them to their deaths. I felt somewhat Jediesque as I swung my suction-powered saber at the X-wings dive bombing me. After about fifteen sweat-filled minutes, I ceased. I found a number of the dusty storm troopers’ corpses in the filter compartment.

“he got dengue fever, she got dengue fever, everybody got dengue fever. . .”

Hooray for Dial Up

Dial up. Ah yes, in the continuation of my previous blog about the taken-for-granted conveniences, high-speed Internet access is not a given. Absent from the St. Croix market are corporate big boys, such as Verizon and Comcast. Satellite television and Internet access through Dish; for example, is available at a cost, a much higher cost than stateside. Dishes are purchased out-right by the subscriber at a cost of $400-$600. A satellite service representative on island advised me that because of satellite positioning, two dishes would be required to access all channels. Seems St. Croix is betwixt ping points.

This curious position reminds me of a television commercial of my youth produced by the local celebrity Red Holland. Red hosted and starred in a show for outdoor sport enthusiasts aptly titled “Outdoors with Red” that aired every weekend and daily in the wee hours of the morning on WTVY, the ‘voice of the wiregrass.’ Typically, Red shot his own sponsorship commercials, too. In hawking satellite systems (a brand new product at the time), Red held an oversized galvanized washtub above his head and yelled, “Come on in, satellite!” pivoted 90 degrees and yelled “Come on in satellite!”

Since Dish equipment costs outweigh the enjoyment I receive from viewing and surfing and I learned at a tender age that washtubs on the roof are not a sound source of television reception (much less high-speed Internet), I went with plan B (line-of-sight wireless), then C (antenna on the roof wireless), then D (DSL) which was only partially successful resulting in Dial Up. Our house is located in a canyon and until upgrades on local towers are implemented, no reception is available. The DSL available in our area proved so popular that no more space exists on the modem. Pending modem upgrades, subscribers are offered dial up. Of course there are hot spots on island. I have checked email adjacent to the Carambola Golf Course, outside Paint N Things in the Gallows Bay Shopping Center and while waiting at the airport. After a month of exercising my Internet options and coming up with only one option, I’m relieved to check email in the privacy of my own home rather than the paint store parking lot. Dial up is really not that bad, not a slow as you may remember. My colleagues, Chuck and Gus, prefer it as well.

I wish to goodness that Red Holland had a website to link to, but all my searching has come up with nothing except some Alabama transplant in New Jersey inquiring about where to find copies of the show and waxing nostalgic about "the chicken song" and a Florida sport fishing poll that had Red's show rated as #8 in a list about 30 of viewers' favorite shows. I think everybody in the panhandle voted. Here's a link to his former station WTVY.

Limin'--Life without A/C

Dream of moving to the Caribbean? Spending your days caressed by trade winds, relaxed, soaking up the genial sun . . .Limin’, to use the local phrase. If so, know that when you leave your stress-filled stateside lives you also leave behind a few other aspects of your daily routine, such as: central air conditioning, low electricity rates, curb-side trash pick up, underground gas lines, guaranteed access to high-speed Internet, low-cost dish-based television service, and in most cases city water/sewer and home mail delivery.

Air Conditioning

Used to the climate controlled ice box—you may have difficulty adjusting. Very few locations have central air conditioning. I have witnessed this luxury only in large commercial buildings. Many residents operate window unit AC; however, be prepared for to pay for this convenience. The rental we lived in when we first moved on island was just about 1000 square feet, one window unit and four ceiling fans. Our monthly electricity bill averaged $220.

Too many visitors from the states (continentals) depend on A/C so that local hotels often charge an additional 10 percent energy surtax.

I plan to operate our bed and breakfast sans A/C. Ceiling fans and stationary fans, yes, but no window units. We do not have this convenience in the main house and I hope to compete in local hotel market by being 10 percent cheaper than the next guy. I also hope to entice the kind of guests that want to live like the locals.

Propane

To off set the expensive electrical rates islanders use propane wherever possible. Our stove, clothes dryer (an appliance I rarely use because the clothes line works well) and hot water heater are propane based. Gas is delivered in large tanks, about 4 feet high, and stored outside one’s home. One visitor remarked that this method is akin to having a bomb outside your door. Would the underground gas line then be like having a bomb under one’s house? Out of sight, out of mind, maybe?

Check upcoming entries on the shedding of other stateside conveniences, sharing bathwater with the frogs and a trip to the dump all coming soon.

Island life is different. A new resident’s attitude in accepting these differences determines whether a move to the USVI is paradise or paradise lost. Don’t blame the Islands for not being like the States, blame yourself for an inability to adapt. Limin' is a trade-off.

Settling in Paradise--five house hunting snags

Relocating to America’s Paradise? Since St. Croix is a US Territory buying or building should be just like the states, right? Not quite.

Mortgage Rates

Be prepared for mortgage rates up to 1 point higher than stateside. The probability of damage due to natural disasters and high default rates on loans yield the increase mortgage rates. Compute this rate hike in your budget while house shopping. The high interest rates may put a once affordable asking price out of reach.

Property Insurance

In comparison with the states, property insurance can be astronomical. In addition, it is doubtful that you will be able to continue coverage with your local stateside insurance provider. On St. Croix all the property insurers are Caribbean-based. A buyer can retain his previous stateside insurer to provide insurance on the contents of the home.

Amenities such as hurricane shutters and home construction material affect rates. A wooden structure would result in a huge insurance bill. Most houses on St. Croix are constructed of concrete for both exterior and interior walls—in short a hurricane bunker.

Flood insurance is required based on land surveys. Not only low-lying properties are affected—a house located on a mountainside could potentially require flood insurance due to storm run off.

Building Costs

At present (mid 2007) the building costs on St. Croix average $200 to $250 per square foot. Land costs (the price of which has increased dramatically in the past five years) are extra.

Homeowners Associations and Road Maintenance

Many neighborhoods operate under the agreements of a homeowners association. Similar to stateside groups, St. Croix’s homeowners association often take on the additional duty of road maintenance. Limited Territorial government budgets for road repair and maintenance typically result in the repair of main roads only. Homeowners associations step in, collect dues, and repair and maintain roads within their respective jurisdictions.

Closing Dates

A 60 day closing time frame is typical. So get ready to wait a few days to move in to your new dream home.

Search the multiple listings service (MLS) with St. Croix-based realty agency (operating since 1930) Farchette & Hanley.

On and off the Rock

Unless you own a watercraft (or know someone who does) air transportation is the only reliable, scheduled way to get on or off island. Two major airlines service St. Croix: American and Delta. American offers one flight daily from Miami and Delta offers direct flights from Atlanta twice a week. The nearest airline hub is Puerto Rico. American Eagle offers flights several times a day as do smaller carriers such as Cape Air and Liat.

To island hop from St.Croix, Seaborne Airlines, a sea plane, offers flights to St. Thomas and Puerto Rico. A seaplane bonus is the ability to land right in the harbor of both islands, closest to the historic districts and shopping. (A seaplane review is imminent.) Sea plane barely visible above Hotel on the Cay (see photo).

Cruise ships fail to frequent St. Croix. While the local economy may miss the boost from these floating tour groups, I am not sure St. Croix would please the cruise traveler. Although great duty-free shopping and nightlife exist, St. Croix is not a shop-till-you drop, party the night away place. In short, St. Croix is nothing like Vegas on the Caribbean. St. Croix is a place to enjoy the beautiful scenery, learn about the rich local culture and treasure the simple pleasure of relaxation.

Welcome to my business adventure

I like B&Bs. I like the concept of gaining a bit more than surface detail about a certain locale. If one stays in a corporate hotel one can count on a private bath, cable television and now-a-days wireless service. Yet, corporate hotels can be generic. How is a room in Peoria different from one in Pensacola? Moreover, what does the traveler learn about that location from the hotel?

At a bed and breakfast; however, the baths may be shared, the rooms may not have phone or wireless, but then a certain kind of traveler takes a trip to get away from the generic everyday. Given the opportunity, I would like to learn more about a place: scraps of history, tastes of culture, glimpses inside the everyday life of residents.

Sixty channels of cable television are less important. Why should some actor, anchor, or reality participant get all the action? Travel is not a time to be passive, in my opinion. Travel is your own unique adventure.

I am thrilled to open this bed and breakfast and thrilled to check off a goal on life’s to-do list. I look forward to sharing our little piece of America’s Paradise with like-minded travelers. So, welcome.

King of Scratch

It all went south from the chicken wings. Our planned evening soaking in Crucian culture skidded from cold wings to medical emergency in less than an hour. But I’m jumping the gun and neglecting the fine art of foreshadowing. Ahem. . . south from the chicken wings.

Picture it: sundown on the western Caribbean Sea at historic Fort Fredrick on picturesque St. Croix. An evening of film, food and music awaits a cultural arts extravaganza event planned in honor of Jamesie Brewster front man of Jamesie and the All Stars. Brewster, 70, is the subject of a new documentary entitled: “Jamesie, King of Scratch”.

In 2004 the territory legislature declared Scratch the official music of the Virgin Islands. Scratch features musical instruments that are hand made and historically similar to West African instruments. Scratch music is an amalgam of historical musical styles influenced by the various peoples and cultures that make up the history of the Virgin Islands.

Background provided; I resume with the evening’s event. Due to a work-related delay (yes, people work here) we arrived during intermission between the two showings of the film. We paid our $5 cover deciding to enjoy the food and music portions of the evening and catch the documentary late show.

Since the band had yet to set up in the fantastic courtyard space of Fort Frederik, we headed to the buffet only to learn that the early show crowd consumed nearly everything. We were offered a plate of four chicken wings and two mini rolls. No beverages—they were out. Our charitable donation made, we stepped up to the aged battlements to sample the meager fare.

Cold sweet marinated chicken wings are not the most unpalatable snack on the planet, but leave much, much to be desired. I need not elaborate on the elasticity of cold, honey-coated chicken skins? No, I thought not. The mini roll washed down my one and only quivering bit, thank goodness.

Disappointing chicken could not, at least, spoil the view. The crowds continued to grow as we waited for Jamesie and the All Stars to strut their stuff. We moved from the gunnery to the back corner of the fort that provided a view of the expanse of the courtyard so that we could see band and dancers in the crowd.

Eventually, the band struck up a tune. Upbeat and infectiously melodious, patrons began to dance. Gorgeous sunset, documentary-worthy music, Caribbean Sea—euphoria is easy. Unfortunately, so is dehydration. Second song into the set, a tourist in the back of the courtyard, directly under our seats began to stand and then collapsed into the person seated next to him. His wife and surrounding patrons rushed to his aid. The rest of the crowd (other than those in our vantage point) danced on, oblivious, that is until one of the impromptu emergency attendees rushed the stage and called for “a doctor in the house” several times. No doctor emerged, but one lady did announce that 911 had been phoned.

A heavy couple of minutes passed with Jamesie looking toward the crowd and the entrance. When the EMTs did not emerge, Jamesie and the All Stars launched into a surprising Scratch version of “The Tennessee Waltz.” Couples swayed in ¾ time while a nurse took charge of the resuscitation efforts demanding water for the collapsed man and dousing him with ice and bottled water.

Maybe it was the growing dark or our empty stomachs or the dread-filled fifteen minutes that passed and still no emergency responders merely concert goers with water bottles trying to comfort a listless man lying on the concrete, but we decided not to wait for the documentary. Sometimes the signs point quite clearly to turning in early and getting your butt back home before one crosses the path of something even worse. Tonight was one of those nights. The stars, for us at least, aligned against Jamesie and the All Stars.

Read more about him in the security of your living room at http://www.jamesieproject.com.

Special Guest Star: Mark

We don’t watch television shows. None of the popular serials have produced press or teasers interesting enough to encourage us to tune in---save Ugly Betty, a great soap opera spoof. However, we have formed a bit of a dependence on travel shows.

I don’t necessarily plan lunch around Passport to Europe, but my daily salad and I have toured quite a few great continental capitols with Samantha Brown. My husband’s arrival home from work coincides with Globetrekker and he decompresses with the antics of host Ian while he learns tidbits about another land (Friday we visit former soviet territory Georgia).

So when friend and former neighbor, Mark, delighted us with the news that he planned a visit to St. Croix, we consulted all the published guides (local and national) and questioned long-time residents on events, happenings, activities and cuisine in order to offer a bounty of touring opportunities.

In homage to the travel guide, be it television host, book or website, here’s an overview of “Curious Mark Goes to St. Croix” (Mark’s title, sorry we can’t take credit for this witticism).

Photo Op: Meet Mark, seen here gripping a Carib and sporting a ring from IB Designs. This photo taken at Mt. Victory Camp in the rainforest just before Mark joined a drum circle. While at Camp, he took a number of photos that showcased the lush beauty of the surroundings and an oddly symmetrical rust stain in the men’s toilet.

Where Mark Stayed: Mark’s accommodations consisted of posh quarters on a Robert Trent Jones golf course (our guest room in the rental condo). Never mind that we don’t golf. Never mind that our cat and dog, Chuck and Gus, the wonder pets duo refused to stay out of the guest room and more than once jumped in the guest’s bed. The beautiful mountain views and stellar company make up for any pet hair in one’s personal belongings.

What Mark Did: St. Croix is 84 square miles and while Mark didn’t visit every square inch, he did see all corners and set foot on all shores—north, south, east and west. On St. Croix direction is significant in that geography changes with the compass.

West-side:

Mark hiked the scenic road both east and west of Paradise road gazing grand vistas and making his way as high as he could up Mount Eagle.

Mark wondered unencumbered and free of charge among the ruins of a 1700s era plantation, Estate Mt. Washington. (Once we called and found it, that is. Frommer’s you printed a big error in your guide book. The plantation is northwest NOT southeast of Frederiksted.)

Mark toured tiny Frederiksted, photographed local architecture, and noticed some Rasta ogling me and attempting to woo whilst bicycling while I remained completely oblivious.

Mark gathered sea glass on Sprat Hall and Rainbow beaches, which he pronounced one of the most beautiful stretches of beach he’d seen in person. He then took in the famous west-end sunset with a Carib and lime.

Mark took a turn at life in the left-lane as he drove the Mahogany Road through the rainforest. Rainforest stops included the Domino Club (home of the beer drinking pigs that could be smelled but not seen) and Mt. Victory Camp, an eco-camp. While there he debuted on drum with Olu’s drum circle and did himself proud. View drumming

South-shore:

Stood on the edge of the pristine beaches of the Sandy Point nature preserve and thanks to Frommer’s got an inpromtu tour of the southwest corner of the island. Viewed the long stretch of beach at Ha’Penny Bay the beach nearest what will be out new island home.

East-end:

In the arid desert-like climate of the east-end, Mark stood on the wall at Point Udall, the easternmost point in the United States, stoic against the great sea boundless until it meets the shores of Africa. He photographed the astronomical mapping satellite and Buck Island as we began our own east-end pub crawl that ended at the historic Buccaneer Hotel. At the locally owned first resort on island, we were seated at the bar due to the lack of collarless shirts, where Mark befriended the bar patrons and staff and munched on an enormous and tasty plate of calamari.

North-shore:

Mark dove with the Caribbean Sea creatures in a scuba lesson at Cane Bay. He patroned most all of the north-shore establishments even braving Bogey’s (recently robbed in a brazen wild-west style shoot out where no one was seriously hurt) to view the churning sea crashing on the coral rock outcropping below.

Where Mark Shopped:

Mark found most of his souvenirs in the capitol city of Christiansted where he purchased locally and regionally made merchandise. In addition, like any good tourist from a highly-taxed metropolitan city, he stocked up on duty-free cigarettes and alcohol (including locally made Cruzan Rum) at Plaza supermarket (west-side).

Where Mark Dined:

Eager to take in local culture, Mark lunched with the chickens at the Latin short-order stand, the Luncheria in Christiansted. He lunched on the chickens at the La Reine Chicken Shack, a.k.a. “the Dirty Chicken” where the $5 half roasted chicken with Johnny cakes is second to none. The Chicken Shack’s roasted chicken is an unbelievably mouth watering a culinary feat locals chalk up to the dirt-floor, open-air roasting room.

At Villa Morales, Mark dined on roast goat with seasoned rice and pigeon peas, mac and cheese and their special mojito.

While dining at Junie’s Bar on buttered conch with provision, Mark was treated to more local culture than he bargained for by a woman at the bar wearing see-through pants and G-string. An off-duty dancer from De Playground? We’ll never know and due to poor lighting his attempts to photograph her were in vain.

What Mark Drank:

St. Croix’s local spirit is Cruzan Rum. Mark enjoyed a Dark and Stormy made in our kitchen and several rum punches concocted at various local establishments. And the winner of the rum punch challenge—the original rum runner at Rum Runner’s. Five dollars and worth every penny. Don’t be put off by the black strap float—that’s just extra flavor and extra proof, honey.

The U.S. Virgin Islands does have a beer brewed on St. John that is a darn good beer; however, we didn’t purchase any. Instead, Mark sampled the following regional brews: Presidente from the Dominican Republic, Carib from Puerto Rico, Red Stripe (the famous Jamaican brew which is also a slang term for Jamaican cops). In addition he enjoyed non import (read not watered down) beers, Heineken and Elephant. At $2 and $3 dollars a bottle, duty-free does make a difference.

Mark’s Highlights/Conclusion:

Consider this the last 30 seconds and rolling credits of our travel show, that or the obvious that Mark is far more succinct than I. For more Crucian experiences tune in next week.

Mark’s Favs:

• drumming at Mt. Victory
• diving at Cane Bay
• hiking the scenic drive
• exploring Christiansted and Frederiksted
• sunset beers at Sprat Hall Beach
• east end pub crawl at Duggans, Deep End, and Buccaneer (excepting the cacklers at Deep End)
• eating roast goat at Villa Morales
• eating conch and fungi at Junie's (bonus: that girl in that outfit - WTF?!)
• eating 1/2 chicken and two johhnycakes at La Reine
• successfully keeping my shoulder on the shoulder

Can't Start the Carnival

St. Croix celebrates Christmas from December 25 with a number of events that culminate in the adults’ parade on January 6, better known as Three Kings Day. Circumstances beyond our control prevented us from attending all the precursory events that included: horse races, pig roasts, water craft expos, marches (known as ‘tramps’), food arts and crafts fairs, crowing of the festival kings and queens, calypso finals and the children’s parade. Since we missed all this partying, we meant we were going to the adult’s parade—the main event.

The adult’s parade was scheduled to begin at 10 a.m. The parade route began in front of a local school about a half mile from the destination town of Frederiksted. The revelry would make way through town and end at the ball field just north of town.

In hopes that we would arrive at end of the parade route at the same time as the first troupes, we timed our appearance in Frederiksted for 11 a.m. We reached our destination to discover crowds, but no parade. The festivities had not begun yet. No matter. To pass time we visited shops, viewed the food booths, and walked to the stone pathway on Strand Street that parallels the gorgeous Caribbean Sea. A beautiful day for a parade. (photo of harbor)

Two Elephant beers, two salt fish pâté’s, two banana fritters, a coconut ice cream cone and two and a half hours later, the parade had yet to begin. Not quite prepared for the long haul, we decided to head home and watch the parade on television. See photo 2

At a little after 2 p.m. (so much for the 10 a.m. schedule) the carnival parade began. An hour, several kings and queens and four majorette troupes later, we took a break. We had hoped to see dramatic costumes rather than twirlers. Periodic checks later did not disappoint. Checks at 4 p.m., 5 p.m., 6 p.m., and 7p.m.—the parade was still going strong five hours later.

At 7:30 a bottleneck that became noticeable as the Trini Revelers troupe passed and evolved into to a full-flung traffic jam as the Divi Bay troupe attempted to make their way to the judges stand to perform for review. The crowd surged, rushing the Express Band (located somewhere off camera), and overcame the Divi troupe. Parade patrons took over the parade route.

“Vexed, vexed!” he would be, said the Channel 12 public television station announcer, if he were the Divi troupe because now they could not be judged.

Then he went on to complain of his hunger and how he would love a fried chicken leg (the co announcer agreed).

“But not in Styrofoam!” He hates Styrofoam. He then went on to wax nostalgic about the kind of packaging that gently cradled the chicken legs of his youth.

At nearly 8 p.m. the official festivities ended and thus did the broadcast. I imagine though that the night in Frederiksted was still young; Cruzan rum is inexpensive and delicious; and, after all, festival only comes once a year.