Special Guest Star: Mark

We don’t watch television shows. None of the popular serials have produced press or teasers interesting enough to encourage us to tune in---save Ugly Betty, a great soap opera spoof. However, we have formed a bit of a dependence on travel shows.

I don’t necessarily plan lunch around Passport to Europe, but my daily salad and I have toured quite a few great continental capitols with Samantha Brown. My husband’s arrival home from work coincides with Globetrekker and he decompresses with the antics of host Ian while he learns tidbits about another land (Friday we visit former soviet territory Georgia).

So when friend and former neighbor, Mark, delighted us with the news that he planned a visit to St. Croix, we consulted all the published guides (local and national) and questioned long-time residents on events, happenings, activities and cuisine in order to offer a bounty of touring opportunities.

In homage to the travel guide, be it television host, book or website, here’s an overview of “Curious Mark Goes to St. Croix” (Mark’s title, sorry we can’t take credit for this witticism).

Photo Op: Meet Mark, seen here gripping a Carib and sporting a ring from IB Designs. This photo taken at Mt. Victory Camp in the rainforest just before Mark joined a drum circle. While at Camp, he took a number of photos that showcased the lush beauty of the surroundings and an oddly symmetrical rust stain in the men’s toilet.

Where Mark Stayed: Mark’s accommodations consisted of posh quarters on a Robert Trent Jones golf course (our guest room in the rental condo). Never mind that we don’t golf. Never mind that our cat and dog, Chuck and Gus, the wonder pets duo refused to stay out of the guest room and more than once jumped in the guest’s bed. The beautiful mountain views and stellar company make up for any pet hair in one’s personal belongings.

What Mark Did: St. Croix is 84 square miles and while Mark didn’t visit every square inch, he did see all corners and set foot on all shores—north, south, east and west. On St. Croix direction is significant in that geography changes with the compass.

West-side:

Mark hiked the scenic road both east and west of Paradise road gazing grand vistas and making his way as high as he could up Mount Eagle.

Mark wondered unencumbered and free of charge among the ruins of a 1700s era plantation, Estate Mt. Washington. (Once we called and found it, that is. Frommer’s you printed a big error in your guide book. The plantation is northwest NOT southeast of Frederiksted.)

Mark toured tiny Frederiksted, photographed local architecture, and noticed some Rasta ogling me and attempting to woo whilst bicycling while I remained completely oblivious.

Mark gathered sea glass on Sprat Hall and Rainbow beaches, which he pronounced one of the most beautiful stretches of beach he’d seen in person. He then took in the famous west-end sunset with a Carib and lime.

Mark took a turn at life in the left-lane as he drove the Mahogany Road through the rainforest. Rainforest stops included the Domino Club (home of the beer drinking pigs that could be smelled but not seen) and Mt. Victory Camp, an eco-camp. While there he debuted on drum with Olu’s drum circle and did himself proud. View drumming

South-shore:

Stood on the edge of the pristine beaches of the Sandy Point nature preserve and thanks to Frommer’s got an inpromtu tour of the southwest corner of the island. Viewed the long stretch of beach at Ha’Penny Bay the beach nearest what will be out new island home.

East-end:

In the arid desert-like climate of the east-end, Mark stood on the wall at Point Udall, the easternmost point in the United States, stoic against the great sea boundless until it meets the shores of Africa. He photographed the astronomical mapping satellite and Buck Island as we began our own east-end pub crawl that ended at the historic Buccaneer Hotel. At the locally owned first resort on island, we were seated at the bar due to the lack of collarless shirts, where Mark befriended the bar patrons and staff and munched on an enormous and tasty plate of calamari.

North-shore:

Mark dove with the Caribbean Sea creatures in a scuba lesson at Cane Bay. He patroned most all of the north-shore establishments even braving Bogey’s (recently robbed in a brazen wild-west style shoot out where no one was seriously hurt) to view the churning sea crashing on the coral rock outcropping below.

Where Mark Shopped:

Mark found most of his souvenirs in the capitol city of Christiansted where he purchased locally and regionally made merchandise. In addition, like any good tourist from a highly-taxed metropolitan city, he stocked up on duty-free cigarettes and alcohol (including locally made Cruzan Rum) at Plaza supermarket (west-side).

Where Mark Dined:

Eager to take in local culture, Mark lunched with the chickens at the Latin short-order stand, the Luncheria in Christiansted. He lunched on the chickens at the La Reine Chicken Shack, a.k.a. “the Dirty Chicken” where the $5 half roasted chicken with Johnny cakes is second to none. The Chicken Shack’s roasted chicken is an unbelievably mouth watering a culinary feat locals chalk up to the dirt-floor, open-air roasting room.

At Villa Morales, Mark dined on roast goat with seasoned rice and pigeon peas, mac and cheese and their special mojito.

While dining at Junie’s Bar on buttered conch with provision, Mark was treated to more local culture than he bargained for by a woman at the bar wearing see-through pants and G-string. An off-duty dancer from De Playground? We’ll never know and due to poor lighting his attempts to photograph her were in vain.

What Mark Drank:

St. Croix’s local spirit is Cruzan Rum. Mark enjoyed a Dark and Stormy made in our kitchen and several rum punches concocted at various local establishments. And the winner of the rum punch challenge—the original rum runner at Rum Runner’s. Five dollars and worth every penny. Don’t be put off by the black strap float—that’s just extra flavor and extra proof, honey.

The U.S. Virgin Islands does have a beer brewed on St. John that is a darn good beer; however, we didn’t purchase any. Instead, Mark sampled the following regional brews: Presidente from the Dominican Republic, Carib from Puerto Rico, Red Stripe (the famous Jamaican brew which is also a slang term for Jamaican cops). In addition he enjoyed non import (read not watered down) beers, Heineken and Elephant. At $2 and $3 dollars a bottle, duty-free does make a difference.

Mark’s Highlights/Conclusion:

Consider this the last 30 seconds and rolling credits of our travel show, that or the obvious that Mark is far more succinct than I. For more Crucian experiences tune in next week.

Mark’s Favs:

• drumming at Mt. Victory
• diving at Cane Bay
• hiking the scenic drive
• exploring Christiansted and Frederiksted
• sunset beers at Sprat Hall Beach
• east end pub crawl at Duggans, Deep End, and Buccaneer (excepting the cacklers at Deep End)
• eating roast goat at Villa Morales
• eating conch and fungi at Junie's (bonus: that girl in that outfit - WTF?!)
• eating 1/2 chicken and two johhnycakes at La Reine
• successfully keeping my shoulder on the shoulder

Can't Start the Carnival

St. Croix celebrates Christmas from December 25 with a number of events that culminate in the adults’ parade on January 6, better known as Three Kings Day. Circumstances beyond our control prevented us from attending all the precursory events that included: horse races, pig roasts, water craft expos, marches (known as ‘tramps’), food arts and crafts fairs, crowing of the festival kings and queens, calypso finals and the children’s parade. Since we missed all this partying, we meant we were going to the adult’s parade—the main event.

The adult’s parade was scheduled to begin at 10 a.m. The parade route began in front of a local school about a half mile from the destination town of Frederiksted. The revelry would make way through town and end at the ball field just north of town.

In hopes that we would arrive at end of the parade route at the same time as the first troupes, we timed our appearance in Frederiksted for 11 a.m. We reached our destination to discover crowds, but no parade. The festivities had not begun yet. No matter. To pass time we visited shops, viewed the food booths, and walked to the stone pathway on Strand Street that parallels the gorgeous Caribbean Sea. A beautiful day for a parade. (photo of harbor)

Two Elephant beers, two salt fish pâté’s, two banana fritters, a coconut ice cream cone and two and a half hours later, the parade had yet to begin. Not quite prepared for the long haul, we decided to head home and watch the parade on television. See photo 2

At a little after 2 p.m. (so much for the 10 a.m. schedule) the carnival parade began. An hour, several kings and queens and four majorette troupes later, we took a break. We had hoped to see dramatic costumes rather than twirlers. Periodic checks later did not disappoint. Checks at 4 p.m., 5 p.m., 6 p.m., and 7p.m.—the parade was still going strong five hours later.

At 7:30 a bottleneck that became noticeable as the Trini Revelers troupe passed and evolved into to a full-flung traffic jam as the Divi Bay troupe attempted to make their way to the judges stand to perform for review. The crowd surged, rushing the Express Band (located somewhere off camera), and overcame the Divi troupe. Parade patrons took over the parade route.

“Vexed, vexed!” he would be, said the Channel 12 public television station announcer, if he were the Divi troupe because now they could not be judged.

Then he went on to complain of his hunger and how he would love a fried chicken leg (the co announcer agreed).

“But not in Styrofoam!” He hates Styrofoam. He then went on to wax nostalgic about the kind of packaging that gently cradled the chicken legs of his youth.

At nearly 8 p.m. the official festivities ended and thus did the broadcast. I imagine though that the night in Frederiksted was still young; Cruzan rum is inexpensive and delicious; and, after all, festival only comes once a year.

Cane Bay

Cane Bay is a dog’s beach. Whether it be resident dogs like the ever present blue heeler or giant German Shepard from the dive shop or long term guests like little Jack and his mom who visit the beach everyday, Cane Bay is the laid back place to sun swim and snorkel for locals and their pooches.

A recess in the rocky shore line, Cane Bay boasts reasonably calm waters great swimming for dogs (and people) and an added bonus for snorkelers. Calm seas allow one wade out a few feet then float effortlessly over the beautiful coral reef that borders both sides of Cane Bay. A map at shoreline diagrams the reef so that swimmers and snorkelers avoid unnecessary damage to the reef.

Cane Bays holds a special attraction for scuba divers: the wall. At the infamous wall the bottom drops from 25-30 feet to more than 13,000 feet. Divers can experience the spectacular subterranean views of the Caribbean. Not an expert diver? The Cane Bay dive shop offers lessons and equipment rental. Those who wish to remain in the shallows and snorkel may rent masks and fins as well.

Visitors to Cane Bay need not travel far for lunch or a rum punch. On the sand sits Spratnet, a small rustic bar where bathers can enjoy a sandwich or a cold one. The Full Moon Beach Bar at Cane Bay sits on the opposite side of the road with a balcony featuring great views of the bay. The Full Moon offers daily drink and food specials and serves great casual cuisine. Not to be missed is the Friday night All-U-Eat peel and eat shrimp feast and margarita specials. Yum!

Located on the North shore road, Saturday and Sunday afternoon picnickers abound so come early and bring a beach chair to secure a good spot under the shade trees and sea grapes. As the day grows Cane Bay begins to resemble a neighborhood block party with kids, coolers and barbeques and of course dogs.